Category Archives: Inspiration

Unlimited

Excited, Freedom, God, Inspiration, Spiritual, , , ,

The Fruit of God: Endless and Amazing Discovery

Photo by frank mckenna on Unsplash

God is unlimited.

What is the fruit of that?

A heck of a lot.

Think about it.

I remembered a song about God — “Your faithfulness reaches to the skies”. And I thought, literally that is not true. It might be nice poetic licence. But the reality is that his faithfulness is never ending. It is without limit.

People compare things about God to the sand on the seashore. Because you couldn’t even begin to count every grain of sand. An impossible task for us as human beings. But even the sand analogy is no good. Because sand is limited. There comes a point when there is no more sand left. But God is not limited.

Or what about the water in the ocean? How could we even begin to explore every depth? But yet again the analogy falls short — there is an end to the water!

I thought about the joy and pleasure of revelation; the acquiring of beautiful knowledge. And subsequently the human fulfilment that is found in growth as a person. This too, I realised, is without limit. We will never in our lifetime run out of things to learn about, or ways to grow as a person.

But it goes further… after physical death, if you believe as I do that our spirit continues on, then the journey continues. And in this journey, there is still the potential for growth, for revelation and the acquiring of knowledge. And this is in the same category of unlimited. Because the creator of the universe and subsequently all that there is to discover is unlimited.

The fruit of God. Endless and amazing discovery!

How A Second Phone Helped Me Overcome Screen Addiction

Anxiety, Freedom, Inspiration, Mental health, Social Issues, , , ,

Photo by Vojtech Bruzek on Unsplash

I got an idea.

“Get a second phone.”

It sounded different from my normal thoughts. It was confident, but quiet. Immediate and with a full-stop. I thought it might be God speaking, so I gave it serious attention.

At first it seemed like a stupid idea — why pay money for another phone and monthly plan? Why complicate my life with a second number?

But I thought further…

I had a major problem. I was getting distracted by multiple apps, multiple times a day. Leading to dopamine overload, reduced creativity and reduced brain capacity.

And yet I wanted a rewarding life, with flourishing creativity and maximum brain capacity.

Should I just ditch my smart phone?

“Not possible!”

My lifestyle now required a smart phone. Unless I moved to a farm and lived off-grid, I couldn’t do without many of the apps on my phone. But they sucked me into their distraction vortex too often. And I didn’t have the willpower to control this. It controlled me.

So how could a second phone help with this problem?

I thought about it… If I had a second phone, it could be a simple one, just for calls and texts, without any other apps. A way to be contactable by those close to me, for emergencies or immediate communications. And free of the distraction of the apps on my other phone.

And then I could keep my smart phone as a tool, for specific tasks. But with a new mindset — that once I’ve used the tool, I put it away without looking at other apps at the same time.

This all dawned on me rather quickly and I was excited! I didn’t have to ditch my smart phone. I could keep all my apps. But a second phone could give me a better chance to live in control of when and how I used my smart phone.

So I decided to try it. I ordered the second phone. I ordered the SIM. I got it set up. And I STARTED!

…

So did it work?…

The PROS

The first thing I noticed was a profound change at bedtime and wake time. I was now empowered to put my smartphone outside of my bedroom, so that it couldn’t intrude on sleep time or the start of my day. I wasn’t able to do this previously, as we have two special needs daughters who have carers assisting them each morning. And it is essential for me to notice and respond quickly to carer texts.

But now I could put the second phone next to my bed for urgent carer messages. And leave the smartphone with all its distracting apps out of the bedroom.

This has meant more peace with how I finish and start my days. No more message or social media checking or news reading. Instead I’m just writing in my journal, reading, or just lying still and thinking. It feels good!

This has been the biggest change so far.

The other positive change has been the feeling of empowerment and control. Because the smart phone is no longer ‘urgent’, I have been able to view it as a tool rather than a friend. It has a purpose and when that purpose is complete, it goes back in its place.

This has also reduced anxiety for me, not needing to check it all the time. And this is giving me a lot of headspace back.

The CONS

On the down side, it is annoying having two phones. Sometimes I need to carry both around with me, eg when leaving the house, so I have GPS. 

Sometimes it is confusing having message conversations on two different phones. The carers for my daughters, for example, message me during shifts on the second phone. But for non-urgent communications they message the smart phone, for me to respond to during my ‘non-urgent’ administrative time. And this can be confusing. I’m still working this out.

There is also a small financial cost to having the second phone. I paid $50 for the phone and also pay $10 a month for the SIM card. Personally I think the cost is well worth the gains that I am making. $2.50 per week for more empowered living!

UPS AND DOWNS

Several days after trialling the second phone, I became sick and ended up in bed for over a week, unable to think or function properly. I reverted to screens for distraction and entertainment during this time. It was a deliberate decision to do this, as I didn’t have the mental stamina while sick to achieve the new empowerment goals. It was annoying, but it was temporary.

Once better, I put the smart phone back out of the bedroom. And went back to where I started, using it as a tool only.

I initially used the smartphone for downtime in the evenings. I liked to hop on once a day to play Wordle & other games, plus check social media and the news. Given my chronic fatigue and the unpredictable challenges of two special needs girls, this was a coping mechanism, curling up with my phone for ‘down-time’. But by week three I had the headspace to lie down and listen to music instead. And then not long after that, I took the next step and ditched using the smartphone for downtime. This was super encouraging, as I couldn’t achieve this in the beginning, but could after three weeks. And this encourages me to think that I can achieve even better steps in the near future.

CONCLUSIONS — SEVEN REASONS THIS EXPERIMENT WORKED

After more than one month, I am super encouraged at how effective a second phone has been in reducing screen distraction and addiction. I have made sustained progress that was not possible previously. There are seven reasons why I believe this has been working…

1. REMOVAL of FEAR

Having a second phone for urgent messages, removes my need or excuse to check my smart phone regularly. My smart phone is no longer urgent — I can think of it differently, without anxiety and use it only as needed.

2. MINDSET CHANGE — TOOL not FRIEND

Going to all this effort to have a second phone motivates me to embrace the mindset that my smart phone is a tool, not a friend. So when I use it, it is for a clear purpose and then I put it away again. I am empowered to have this disciplined approach and I feel great for it.

3. ACCOUNTABILITY

Because I’ve told immediate family and carers of my strategy and given them my new phone number, which they are now making the effort to use, I feel obliged to stick with my goals, or I will look foolish in front of them. And I will have wasted their effort too. Likewise, by posting here online, I am further accountable to others, to stick with my goals.

4. FINANCIAL INVESTMENT

Because I’m paying a monthly subscription for a SIM card and because I paid for the second phone, even thought these costs were minimal, I don’t want to waste the money by failing. I am further motivated to succeed to make this investment count.

5. MOMENTUM

As I have been succeeding, I have made further steps that were not possible at the beginning, such as eliminating comfort scrolling in the evenings. This has given me more discretionary time to do other more healing or productive things. I’m on a roll and this will likely lead to more and more wins.

6. INCREASED AWARENESS

As my mind experiences longer times of being clearer, I am becoming more sensitive to the negative feeling of phone over-use. Too much use of the smart phone, even as a tool, causes me to feel ‘wired’, and ‘tight’ in my brain. I don’t like it. And because of this awareness, I’m choosing to use the smart phone even less often. The positive impact is snowballing!

7. READY FOR IT

I don’t think this idea would have worked if I wasn’t ready for it. Having tried other solutions previously and failed, I was ready to try something new. And I was willing to ‘pay for it’. I was keen to run with discipline. I just needed help to overcome my stumbling block — the feeling of urgency to check my phone all the time. And the second phone was the catalyst for this opportunity.

I fully acknowledge the solution of a second phone is not fool proof. It relies on my will and daily decision making, as to whether I succeed or fail. But it has made it a LOT easier for me to succeed.

I’m grateful for now experiencing a calmer mind and the new space for other activities. I hope that long-term there will be an exponential impact, in terms of improved mental health and creative/intellectual capacity. 

I hope my story encourages you in your own screen time journey. And that some of my discoveries can help you find your own unique solution that will empower you to live your best life! Your mental and creative capacity are worth the investment!

Lastly, some of you may be wondering… why did I mention God at the start? Did he actually talk to me? Was this his idea? Those are relevant questions and I will definitely be talking about God in future articles…

The Screen Time Experiment: A Radical and Practical Solution

Freedom, Inspiration, Mental health, Social Issues, , , ,

Photo by Kenny Eliason on Unsplash

Part 1 — The Idea

Like many of us I have struggled with screen addiction. I’m 47 years old, mum to five kids (two with special needs). I struggle with chronic fatigue and spend most of my week at home. I have an iPhone 11, MacBook and TV. And over the years I have tried and failed numerous times to curb my impulse to be sucked in by attention grabbing apps!

I consider myself reasonably curbed, by today’s standards… I don’t play online games, except for Wordle and some of the other NY Times games. And I only watch 3–6 TV shows/movies a week. It could be a lot worse, but I’ve recognised how easily addicted I get to games and I’ve banned myself from ones like ‘Cooking Fever.’ When I used to play them, I would obsess and dive in deep and get really good at it in a short period of time. Then realise it was all I was thinking about, and decide to go cold turkey and delete. The same would happen with Netflix TV series — enjoyment leading to obsession that became too all consuming — again the solution was to delete!

Deleting was my strategy with many other apps too. I’d realise how much time I was wasting looking at my phone, so I’d start deleting whatever I considered was a non-essential app. But inevitably this strategy failed dismally. In the weeks following, I would find myself slowly bringing back the apps one by one, as I realised how inconvenient life was without them. First the ‘necessary’ ones, then the less necessary and then finally the rest of them, because everything had crept right back and I’d lost my will to fight for my mind.

That was the thing. I felt like I’d lost the “normalness” of my mind. The constant dopamine hits from clicking and scrolling and finding out information, or completing tasks. And the unpredictable interruptions from notifications. Even though I’d been smart with reducing notifications, there was still a trap. I would hear a message — open it and look — see the badge numbers accumulating on another app (that I’d turned sound notifications off for) and then dive into that app afterwards, before checking the weather, then the bank account, then the calendar, etc, etc. And before you knew it I’d wasted 20–30 minutes. But worse than that, my brain felt discombobulated. I didn’t like it.

I tried grey scaling the apps on my phone to de-motivate me in using my phone. But that was overly horrible. I value beauty and aesthetics. I couldn’t bear the misery. I restored colour after about 30 seconds. At least let me have joy with a device I need to use!

So what to do about my brain?

I read a book about a woman who used to travel through different continents with her partner, with nothing but a basic backpack, hunting for their own food in forests and jungles, making their own fires and sleeping in tents at night. No screens for them. And she shared of how alive she felt. Of course she was also living outside in nature and exercising extensively. But when she came back to civilisation and had to use devices again, she described the feeling of being sucked into the void of screen addiction. And how this affected her brain. And how she hated it, but couldn’t resist it.

She knew better than most of us the difference to her brain before and after screens? And yet she also was sucked into the screen vortex. Was there any hope for me? Was it possible to have my pre-screen brain back again?

I’ve thought many times about each and every one of my apps. Do I really need them? Can I find other things to use instead — a watch on my wrist, a GPS or map in the car, a stand alone camera, my bank card in my purse, a written calendar, a shopping list at home that my husband and I can add to. Music CDs? All of these things were possible but a lot less convenient. So I would weigh it up… umm and aah… and wonder if one day I’d have the grit and determination to make the hard decision and just do it!

But with kids at schools that communicate via multiple apps and being a content creator on social media and writer, I rely on so many apps just to function in society. And the need is growing — think ‘authenticator’ apps, given our ID security issues today. And so the conclusion… I can’t go app free with my current lifestyle. It’s not possible without causing major problems to myself and others.

And so I’m stuck with my smart phone!

What to do? Perhaps some of you can handle a smart phone with an ease of discipline. But personally I don’t have enough self-control to ignore non-necessary apps. It’s possible for short times when I’m at a motivation spike and life is going well and my energy is OK. But when my energy spirals, or emotional challenges hit I revert to comfort existence, which includes phone scrolling. Then the amount of content in my head builds up and it is overload. Overwhelm. And there I am back again at square one.

Aargh!! Can anyone relate?

Interestingly, as an aside, this was the moment I discovered ‘Medium’. I was researching screen time solutions, but the internet only gave me ‘same old’ content spitted out by everyone in different ways and regurgitated by AI. It was boring, un-inspirational and unhelpful. I eventually found a personal story from someone and was delighted — aha — fresh perspective. But alas it was behind a paywall. Then I found another personal story — but aargh the paywall again. By this stage I was ‘over’ researching on google and since I discovered the two stories were behind the same paywall — and that monthly membership was only $5USD a month, I decided to pay that for two original articles. And that’s why I’m now on Medium!

It was good to read of others struggles and what they had tried. I appreciated it very much. But I still wasn’t settled. I needed a personal solution that was more radical, but also practical. What could I do?

And then I got this new idea…

Some would call it random inspiration. But for me random is cheap and unlikely to work. I usually disregard such ideas. But this idea had a different sound. From my experience with spirituality it was God’s whisper in my ear. So I paid it attention.

“Get a second phone”.

Ooh that’s a new idea. I hadn’t thought about that before. Ok then. Let’s think about this. Could this work? Maybe I could get a second phone just for urgent phone calls and message and take this simple phone around with me everywhere. And then my main phone with all the apps could be kept aside with my laptop, for when I needed to do focused work. At a chosen time for that kind of headspace. And therefore not interrupting the other parts of my day.

So I could take my simple phone on walks in nature, have it with me when relaxing on the couch, when sitting with my kids. I could feel the security of being contactable — did my daughter have a seizure — someone could tell me. And I could ditch the dopamine distraction of my app phone in these moments. But keep and choose the app phone for the times it was truly needed. Purposeful moments, rather than every possible moment.

I got excited with the idea. I saw the potential. But also knew I couldn’t predict how this would work. What would be the pros and cons? I would just have to try it and find out.

I did some research. I didn’t want to spend a lot of money, so I got a secondhand iPhone 4 for $50AUD and found the cheapest phone plan — $10 per month, as I didn’t need a plan with much data. This wasn’t going to break our budget. In perspective, $2.50 per week was a pretty cheap investment to help me ditch the dopamine distraction.

I decided to give my new phone number to my husband and kids, carers and schools only. Not even my parents got the new number. The purpose was for every day running of our household and kids. I figured any emergency from extended family could be easily communicated to my husband and then to me. I didn’t need to complicate extended family with two phone numbers.

I felt the excitement of a new, untried pathway. Could this work? Would it be a success?

Since I had already been wrestling with the pain of this screen issue for a long time, I was ready to dive into the solution with enthusiasm. So when the simple phone arrived in the mail, I was happy to put the main app phone out of reach. It no longer had a place at the bedside table. No longer available before bed and no longer available first thing in the morning. I relished the loss of this. And I sat with the absence of entertainment. And embraced the nothingness of boredom. However I didn’t feel bored or restless. I felt more powerful, more present and hopeful.

This of course was no evidence of success — just the expected optimism of the start of any resolution. What would happen over time? What tests could this new solution withstand or crumble under? Would this effort be worthwhile or a waste of time over the long term?

As I write this I am in the early days of trying this experiment. I am documenting my experience and look forward to sharing the pros and cons. The insights and conclusions.

Stay tuned for part 2!

Diamond

Emotions, Excited, Grateful, Inspiration, Joy, Spiritual, Uncategorized, , ,
Image by Lars Plöger from Pixabay

We all have struggles. And we are all forged through them. Like diamonds…

I felt the pull to write these words, to articulate the intensity of the journey and the beauty that unfolds and that I hope for. But also for you too.

For me this composition is an interplay between me and my Creator. For you it may mean something else. I hope it will inspire and encourage you to value your challenges and see the possibilities…

Diamond

Intensity of formation
Heat and pressure
Again and again
Relentless

Hiddenness and obscurity
Humble beginnings await discovery
Thrill for the avid seeker
Determination, toil, persistence
“Eureka!”

Eye and hand
Of Master Craftsman
Vision of possibility
Skillful cuts
Fastidious polish
Care and cherishing

An original

Unveiling now
Father is proud
Resplendent beauty
Stunning multi faceted light

It is very good
Inner Hallelujah erupts
Sacrifice’s reward
Diamond of great price

You

.

Scored

Emotions, Grateful, Inspiration, Joy, Love, Marriage, Parenting, Spiritual, , , , , ,

Today God has so kindly allowed me to experience more fully what it is like to LOVE my family, instead of seeking my own good. I totally suspect God did it. I know he did.

I was sitting at the table playing a game with my husband and son. I was frustrated with the noise of the younger kids, irritated by my husband’s drumming fingers and my son’s exasperated noises. I felt like I didn’t want to be with them. And then I remembered how I had been choosing love with my husband, especially in moments where I was NOT inspired. And so I decided to choose love at the table in this moment. I started thinking, what would they want right now? I decided to play quietly, to speak kindly. It was like a gentle battle, of going back to my selfish ways, then choosing love. God made it easy for me.

Then at the end of the game, which I have played hundreds of times with different people over the course of my 42 year life, something happened that had NEVER happened before. The three of us ended up with identical scores – 195 each. We were all in disbelief. My husband took a photo and texted it to my dad, who also loves the game.

Afterwards I felt that the scores were a sign. A sign related to my choosing love. By choosing love, the three of us ended up level, equal. By choosing love, I did’t stand above in pride or judgment. We ended up all winning.

As I came upstairs and sat at my desk I was full of joy. Light, refreshing joy (not happiness). It just flowed through me, effortless.

I am so grateful to God for this experience. I long to remember to live this everyday. I know I need to practice it. New things take time to learn. And I know God will continue to give me the grace to learn this. He knows how much I long to live fully from love, not self ambition.

Hero or Fool?

Bible, Freedom, God, Inspiration, Spiritual, , , , , , ,

I keep thinking about the story of Chau, the 26 year old Christian missionary who visited the Sentinelese people in mid-November, in the hope of converting them, and was killed with arrows on his third visit.

There’s been much criticism of Chau, which I can understand – that he shouldn’t have gone there (it was illegal), he shouldn’t taint an ancient civilization with other religious ideas, he shouldn’t expose them to possible germs that could kill them and he shouldn’t have put the fishermen who transported him at risk (they have now been arrested). And that he was a fool (or crazy) for putting himself in danger which got him killed.

On the other hand some Christians would see him as a martyr. He died for his faith.

I can understand all those points of view.

What is sticking in my gut with this story, though, is the response of some Christians. The response being that Chau was misguided, that he went too far, that he lacked wisdom, or that he had mental health issues. I can understand that response from a non-believer. But it agitates me that a believer would think this. It makes my spirit cry out that maybe they don’t know the Bible. Maybe they don’t know how valuable Jesus is. And that he is worth even dying for.

I think of these passages from the Bible…

Matthew 16:24-25…  Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.

Acts 21:13… Then Paul answered, “Why are you weeping and breaking my heart? I am ready not only to be bound, but also to die in Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus.”

There’s heaps more Scriptures on that theme of persecution/death for your faith. Plus heaps of examples of disciples breaking the law by preaching the gospel. And then ending up in prison, because what they did was illegal. And most of them got killed in the end.

This was normal in the Bible. And they were willing to pay that price, because they knew the value of the gospel. It’s worth more than anything, as it is the doorway to reconciliation with our Creator. Our response to which determines our eternal destination. From this perspective, sharing the gospel is even worth more than maintaining the status quo of an ancient untouched civilization. After all, eternity counts for more than our short time here on earth.

So my spirit burns inside. Burns to see saints that will follow Jesus whatever the cost.

When I go to heaven I want to meet Chau and shake his hand. And thank him for his sacrifice that reminds us all what following Jesus is really about.

Some quotes from Chau’s journal…

“Lord yet you will be close. If you want me to get actually shot or even killed with an arrow, then so be it.

“You guys might think I’m crazy in all this but I think it’s worth it to declare Jesus to these people.”

Four Glimpses of Possible

Anxiety, Autism, Emotions, Excited, Freedom, God, Grateful, Inspiration, Joy, Laughing, Love, Mental health, Microcephaly, Parenting, Peace, Special Needs, Spiritual, Stress, , , , ,

God gives me glimpses of things. Of what is possible. Of what it would feel like to be transformed by him in some specific way…

  1. How it feels to have absolute peace in my gut and how this dissolves stress in those around me
  2. How it feels to react with powerful love instead of anxiety in stressful situations
  3. How it feels to have an absence of pride
  4. How it feels to have body and mind vitality, through eating the right diet for me

These glimpses have been momentary, but profound. Tastes of what is possible. So now I’m wrecked for anything less. How can you be satisfied with the ordinary when you’ve experienced freedom in a certain area?

I’ve heard countless sermons about having peace, of having love, of having humility and of eating right. But nothing has motivated me like the experience of feeling the momentary freedom of what it is actually like to live in this zone. Honestly it became real, incredible, beyond my ordinary dreams of what is possible. They say Jesus is the best. Haha he actually is. And way better than you think.

So what do the ravings of this Jesus loony amount to? How did the glimpses happen? What did they feel like? OK one at a time…

  1. Peace in my gut

With five kids, two with special needs, the stress was extreme and had impacted my body to breakdown point. I lost my energy, like someone pulled the plug. My husband stopped work to take care of the kids while I tried to recover. After six weeks he couldn’t cope so we reached out for a DHHS package for carer support. Six months later we were operating with carers in the home 15 hours per week. My husband was back at work. But the stress didn’t disappear. And I was in a weakened state to handle it.

It got to the point, where wise advise from a close family member was to put Summer (our middle daughter with moderate intellectual disability and autism) in a home for 6-12 months so we could recover.

I was desperate. A dear saint urged me to rest in Jesus.

So I determined to try.

I sat in my lounge chair. I was too tired to pray. I just shut my eyes and sank down deep into a posture of rest. But different from normal. I imagined myself resting in Jesus. And then I remember that Jesus has no weights for me, but wants to unburden me. Then I relax deeper, with relief that I didn’t have to strive. Then I start to laugh and cry and laugh and cry. It just kept bubbling out. My friends call it craughing.

I did this on and off for three days. I would feel myself getting filled with feelings of relief, and of spiritual living water going inside my gut. Hard to imagine I know. It wasn’t long periods of time. I would get distracted, then concentrate again and do the inner posture of resting in Jesus. Trying to do this did nothing. It was when I knew Jesus was my rest, that the faith switch went on, and then the craughing would start. So good!!!

After three days, I felt peace in my gut. It felt wonderful. I can’t describe what a relief that feeling was. All I remember is always feeling uptight in my middle. But I couldn’t find any uptight feeling, even though I was looking hard for it. Just peace. And this feeling of living water.

So then the kids came home and I braced myself. No help from carers or hubby that night. How would I cope! Well the kids came in all manic, bubbling over through the door. They came near me and I watched their energy dissolve. They became settled and at peace without me saying a word. I’ll never forget that. I’ve read about that. But I actually experienced it.

That’s what I need every day. God give me that glimpse back. God help me build that as consistent reality.

  1. Love overflowing without any striving

Another day, I’d had a full-on hour managing Summer in the context of a car trip with all five kids, after an outing in the city where Summer refused to go back to the car. Then I got home and the three youngest ones were full-on. I felt the stress and anxiety peaking. This battle started raging inside me. I was at ‘too much’ point. My mind was telling me to go upstairs and hide and tell my husband I’d had enough. But something in my spirit was battling this. I felt it. I stayed put, feeling and watching the inner battle from outside myself. My inner spirit was wanting to overcome. It was wanting to rise above the status quo of stress overload. This almighty groan emerged from deep within me, shocking me and my kids. And I burst forward to the kids with arms outstretched and blurted out ‘I love you Summer’. And then I poured love out all over the three kids. I felt filled with immense joy and love. I was overflowing, without stress or anxiety. The situation was transformed. I was transformed. I didn’t have to rest and recuperate from stress. I was energised and inspired.

I need and want this all the time. The status quo is so ordinary. This was extraordinary.

  1. Absence of pride

When living in Sydney I had this moment. Totally unplanned. I felt the absence of pride. I know that sounds weird. But it was very distinct. I had an immense clarity of mind and uncluttered panoramic vision. I could see far and wide in my spirit, without cloudedness or confusion. I realised in this moment that this was the space I needed to live in, in order to make wise decisions in ministry and if I ever wanted to lead effectively in any sphere. I willed the clarity to stay. But after maybe 5-10 seconds it left and I went back to my immersion in my own personal level of pride. Which as a continual presence, becomes unnoticed and normal. But now I noticed it. This robber. This thief. This pride! How I despised it and wanted it gone. It clouded my vision. I couldn’t see very far ahead. The difference was immense. Like trying to walk in a fog.

This experience prompted me to pray on three occasions in my life for God to do whatever it would take to get rid of pride. Within a day or week after praying each of these prayers, I subsequently experienced the three most humbling, difficult and painful events/seasons of my life. One day I may share these stories. One of these was the adrenal crash I have referred to. This was the least painful.

Before praying the second time, I experienced the glimpse of the absence of pride again. It was in our ensuite in Dingley Village. In that moment I recalled the glimpse I had experienced years earlier and savoured the moment, wishing it would stay forever. That gave me the courage and motivation to pray the second time for God to get rid of any remaining pride. I wanted to live in that space. I don’t want to live in any other.

I have learned much, but I am still on the path.

  1. Body and mind vitality

God led me on a fast. I hate fasting. I get really grumpy when I don’t eat. And I can’t afford to be a grumpy mum. The demands are strenuous enough without adding that in the mix. So I decided I would fast everything except fruit and vegetables.

After one week, I felt amazing. I guess it was like a de-tox. But I was starving. I did a little complaint to the Holy Spirit about this and I felt him say to add rice. I was happy. For the next two weeks I had rice and fruit and vegetables. I felt full and I felt great. Then in the last week unexpectedly I felt him say to add meat, then a few days later to add eggs, then on the last day to add cheese.

My body felt clean on the inside. It felt refreshed. My mind felt clear and uncluttered. I felt alive in my body.

The day after I finished the fast, I concluded that God never let me eat flour or sugar.

I decided I would like to continue eating like this.

I failed and went back to my old ways. But I never forgot how good I felt and have wanted it ever since.

Last year I gave up flour (mostly) and made it a lifestyle. It’s now normal for me. Then in November I watched ‘That Sugar Film’ and that gave me the impetus to drop sugar. I went cold turkey and I don’t want to go back. I love being sugar free. My emotions are lighter. No depressed feelings. My head is less clouded. No cravings.

Big wins dropping flour and sugar. But I still need to have a higher proportion of vegetables, to experience the reality of the earlier fast where God taught me how to eat. Isn’t he smart. He knows my body better than any doctor. And he knows yours too. We are all different.

So I’m not fully there yet, but I’m on the path. I’m seeing change. I’m building one step at a time. And the glimpse is becoming a reality.

Conclusion

So just recently I had this awesome thought. God has given me glimpses of magnificence spiritual transformations – peace, love and absence of pride. Maybe, just maybe, these also can become my everyday reality, rather than one-off tantalising experiences.

If I follow the logic of the food experience, then it is just a matter of taking small steps every day, in order to build a lifestyle, which then becomes my everyday experience. I can do this!

So I’m starting with the peace in the gut. I’m practicing this every day – 20 minutes X 3. This is doable. I already have 20 X 3 as my normal rest routine, which I have been practicing for years. Now I just add Jesus to the rest in this same routine.

I’m going to win. I’m going to overcome. God has shown me how. And I just have to decide to do it – and I have – and then do the hard yards – and I am.

I’m going to be the peace queen. Not a pride statement here haha. Just a joy statement. Hehehehehehe. The peace queen!

And then wait until I become the love lady.

And then – wow – the absence of pride. I don’t know to walk that journey yet. I’m praying God builds humility more and more. He can do it. He can. He can. He doesn’t give glimpses for nothing.

It’s awesome walking with Jesus. He knows the path. And his path is brilliant and full of surprises that are out of this world. He gives glimpses to keep us going.

What glimpses does he have for you? What is he wanting to build in you? What has he done already?

Love to all

Your Sixth Sense (Better Than Sex)

Angry, Church, Emotions, Excited, God, Grateful, Inspiration, Joy, Laughing, Love, Peace, Spiritual, , , ,

You have an amazing hidden ability. You might not be aware of this yet, but you have a sixth sense. What is it? Are you using it? Have you thought about its possibilities?

Your sixth sense is the ability to sense the atmosphere…

on TWO levels…

the emotional atmosphere and the spiritual atmosphere (better than sex, more later).

Everybody has this ability. But not everybody pays attention to it. And it is attention that hones your ability.

The Emotional Atmosphere

Have you ever walked into a room and immediately noticed tension? You don’t know what happened, but you know something is really off! Perhaps there was a heated argument. Perhaps the people in the room are just seething with unspoken anger. It feels very different to walking into a room where people are happy or excited!

Part of our mood awareness comes from visual cues, such as the expression on people’s faces and their body posture. But our perception goes beyond this. I put it to you, that even with a blindfold on, many of you would still sense mood, if the emotions were pronounced enough.

Some people are better atmosphere perceivers than others. That comes down to natural ability and how much you have developed the skill. That’s like anything in life. Some people are naturally very gifted at music, for example, but everyone can still develop a degree of skill, and hone it with practice.

For some of you, the ability to sense the emotional atmosphere may be virtually non-existent. Perhaps you grew up in a household where this wasn’t valued or acknowledged, so you never paid attention to what you were sensing. Perhaps you disregard your perceptions, as they are subjective, they cannot be measured scientifically like vision or hearing, etc.

I agree that our sixth sense is subjective. Accuracy in diagnosing emotional mood isn’t always precise – but with practice and skill, reliability can increase. This sense shouldn’t be discounted – it should be cultivated and respectfully judged. It has enormous usefulness in both one-on-one interactions and groups environments, on a personal level, work level and societal level.

So far, what I have described is a common experience for many. But there is another level of atmosphere sensing that is completely different. It is SPIRITUAL. The difference is not understood until it is experienced, like trying to imagine colour, when you see in black and white.

Let me share my experience…

Sensing Spiritual Atmosphere

Our church has a lively worship time in the service. A band and songs, like those sung by Hillsong. This creates a certain atmosphere which is awesome. But this is NOT what I’m talking about. I can sing along, I can dance, I can lift my hands and enjoy the atmosphere. But again, this is NOT what I’m talking about.

Sometimes during the worship time, all of a sudden, sometimes unexpectedly, I sense the presence of God. THIS is what I’m talking about!!!

How do I describe this?

It’s weighty.

It’s like a charged atmosphere, except that it contains LIFE.

And this is a big difference. Let me repeat – it has LIFE. This life is the presence of a being… a person… of God himself.

In this moment I can experience a lot of emotions – awe, a sense of being washed over, of being cleansed, an awareness of the goodness and purity of God. I don’t want to be anywhere else. I never want the moment to end. I cling to God in this moment. I revel in who he is. I partake of him. Sometimes I erupt in laughter, sometimes in crying, sometimes a mixture of both. I feel like rivers of living water are flowing in my being. This is glorious peoples. Nothing can compare to this.

And oh to worship him. To lift him up. With every part of my being in complete agreement. There is a rightness. A peace. An inner YES that screams out and becomes louder than any negativity or cloud. It is my place of rest. I’ve found my tribe. I’ve found my home.

And other people who’ve experienced God say the same thing. I hear their description and I go YEP – you’ve met the Father! You’ve met Jesus.

And I don’t just experience this at church. When I connect with God at home… anywhere… the more time I spend with him, the more I experience his presence. It doesn’t happen all the time, but over the years, as I have been pursuing God more, this has been increasing.

Please excuse me for this next comparison, but I want to emphasise how awesome experiencing God is. It is better than sex. It is better than great sex. It is better than ultimate fulfilment sex. Sex brings physical pleasure and the ecstasy of emotionally blurring with another, going to a heightened state of being. It is amazing. But being in the presence of God is more amazing and more fulfilling.

Experiencing a taste of who God is and his life, is what our whole being longs for. We understand our sex drive and the fulfilment this can bring, particularly when in a healthy relationship. But many of us don’t understand our drive for God. He is our ultimate source of fulfilment. Every core of our being becomes alive and energised in an encounter with him. He is transforming!

I can’t emphasise enough how knowing God is not just intellectual or emotional. It is also deeply spiritual. And this spiritual experience is tangible and available for everyone!

God wants to reveal himself to us. Why don’t you ask him to. He’s waiting… with love and forgiveness like an ocean.

“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart” (Jeremiah 29:13).

Truth, Lies and Anxiety

Anxiety, Emotions, Freedom, God, Inspiration, Marriage, Mental health, Peace, Social Issues, Spiritual, , , , , , , ,

question-mark-2I have a theory. Does this resonate with you?

When people lie to us, and we have no evidence that they are lying, we have two different responses from two parts of our being. Our mind listens to what is being said, and finding no evidence to the contrary, agrees with the lie. But our spirit senses the lie at a spiritual level and is grieved. Whether our spiritual awareness is small or great, an incongruence now exists between our mind and spirit. Our spirit and mind are not resonating in unity and this creates discomfort in the emotional realm. Anxiety and mistrust are the result. We don’t understand any of this in our mind, but it happens anyway – the fruit of experiencing an unknown lie.

Think of the spouse who is betrayed by infidelity. They don’t know, but they do know. Anxiety, mistrust and turmoil grows. Or the boss who fires an employee, but gives a soft reason instead of the real reason. The employee’s mind is relieved, but the spirit knows otherwise. Anxiety results.

The solution to this angst is truth.

But for many, this is a problematic solution. Truth is often deemed too painful and therefore must be disguised or hidden. But if my above theory is true, then lies do greater damage in the long run, as they destroy inner peace. The best solution may be speaking the truth (with love, not hate). Truth accepted by the mind creates a united resonance with the spirit, and our emotions are therefore more at peace. And don’t we all want peace!

If this theory is true, then this has important implications for our lives not only as individuals but also as a society. For anxiety is rampant and we need to understand its causes. It begs the question – how much of our anxiety is the fruit of lies? It could be minimal, but I suspect it is enormous. For lies do not just come to us from individual relationships, but they also come from society as a whole. If the philosophy that we build our lives around is simply not true, then how much greater the anxiety and inner turmoil. We are building on sand.

As a deeply personal response, I believe that truth is found only in Jesus Christ. He is my ultimate peace. This is not theoretical for me. This is my experience on a daily basis, to greater and lesser extents, depending on the day. His truth brings me much peace. It slashes misconceptions, which may initially be painful, but also bring enormous relief.

My quest is to keep seeking God’s truth and to challenge every part of my life that does not flow with his life giving Word! “The truth shall set you free” (John 8:32).

Hillsong: Let Hope Rise

Church, Emotions, Excited, God, Inspiration, Joy, Spiritual, , , , ,

hillsong-let-hope-riseJust got home from watching this movie. I LOVED IT! Way more than I thought I would. My husband and I were part of Hillsong Church for five years and had our first two kids there. So I wanted to see the movie and maybe feel a bit nostalgic and maybe enjoy seeing God glorified in a secular movie theatre. But it was way more than that. OK the movie was very well done. I expected that from Hollywood. It was surprisingly positive in its presentation of Hillsong and the United band. It was surprisingly generous in the display of the hope side of the Christian message. Normally there is a lot of cynicism about Hillsong out in the world and parts of the church. But this wasn’t there. The behind the scenes look in to the band members personal lives was fantastic. It portrayed them as real people, not celebrities. I loved that it was clearly not about their egos, but about their desire to promote Jesus and allow people to connect with him. There were so many awesome moments in the movie – seeing people all around the world, singing ‘Saviour, He can move the mountains’. That was so well done – WOW was all I could say!! And then it just kept going on – I kept having all these moments with God – laughing and crying in his presence. Gobsmacked at what God had done with these ordinary people and how awesome he is. I just LOVED it! The movie is an opportunity for people all around the world to have a glimpse at who God is and hopefully be moved to want to connect with him and possibly a local church. And if that happens, they can discover the God who can set them free from all their inner turmoil, all the stuff we call sin that wraps people in chains. They can be forgiven, set free and live a new life with Christ to follow. I just LOVED that movie. Thanks Hillsong for all you’re doing and have done. Such an outstanding, extraordinary example. You lift our horizons. Thanks for your humility in this movie and for stating the truth – that without God it would all be nothing.

The Faith Switch

Bible, Freedom, God, Inspiration, Spiritual, , , , , ,

faith-switch-2In the year 2000, I gave up trying to improve my Christian walk and I asked God to grow me. Since then, his work in my life has blown me away. I’ve learned that God is a brilliant mastermind, and that he can be trusted if I will have faith and patience.

This faith is a journey and I’m learning its power and activation. Here’s what happens to me over and over…

The Process

When I’m struggling with something… worrying… wrestling… wallowing, there’s no freedom. No power. But then suddenly I remember God. Hahaha. And then I KNOW he can deliver me from my turmoil. I KNOW he can turn my situation around. I KNOW he has a way to make the impossible possible (in the immediate and/or long-term). This KNOWING is called faith! It’s like I’ve just turned on a big switch – the power generator goes on and VWOOM… there is LIGHT!

Faith is a special type of knowing. It is supernatural. It is bigger than plain belief and beyond science. And it is not to be confused with hope, positive thinking or emotion. It is powerful.

Faith Is Bigger Than Belief

One can believe all sorts of things – that we evolved, that global warming is a problem, that one’s religion or absence thereof is the most accurate position. But such beliefs are not faith, even if they are religious in nature. Faith has a different switch.

Belief may be formed through education, reason, cultural or family heritage, etc, such as believing in God because of one’s upbringing. But this is not the faith I’m talking about. Faith is an alive explosion of inner knowledge that something is absolutely true, with no doubt whatsoever. Some call it assurance. Mix that with life and fire and we are getting somewhere.

I think if we could see both belief and faith, then belief would be like a smooth cold grey rock, sitting solid and still, and faith would be like a pulsating red hot rock, dangerous and alive.

Faith and Science

People of faith may or may not operate in the realm of scientific empirical evidence and facts. Scientific knowledge is useful and practical, but it has no bearing on faith. Faith is separate and distinct. Faith knows things that science cannot. Faith is an inner spiritual switch that everyone has, but not everyone knows how to operate. Those who have used the switch are more able to use it again. And those who use it frequently become adept at using it across multiple situations. And some amazing people live in this space most of the time.

Faith Is Not Hope

Faith can sometimes be confused with hope. Yes, hope is good. Hope keeps us going. We hope things will get better. We hope God will intervene. But faith is different – it KNOWS! The Bible says that “faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen” (Hebrews 11:1). Faith is not nebulous – it is itself a substance and an evidence. This is why someone who has faith needs nothing else to convince them. Faith trumps any other intellectual argument.  Faith is its own argument.

Positive Thinking and Emotion

Some may think faith can be conjured up through positive thinking. It is the other way around. Faith may inspire positive thinking, but it is not the same thing. The difference is like costume jewellery versus gold and precious stones.

Some may see faith as a strong emotional feeling attached to belief. Again, it is the other way around. Faith may inspire strong feeling, but it is not the same thing. Strong emotion with belief can sing the worship song, “Bless the Lord O my soul, O my soul, Worship His Holy Name” and agree wholeheartedly with great emotion. Faith can sing the same line and each word starts living and breathing on its own. Life and energy flows. It’s like your spirit has woken up and arisen.

Faith is Massively Empowering

Faith can operate in any environment. It is not dependent on life being great and it is not disabled by life being difficult. In actual fact, difficulty can inspire faith to become stronger and more resilient. And in turn it empowers one further in the difficulty.

Faith changes the way everything looks. It reignites hope. And it crushes fear. It enables going forward and it disables paralysis. Everything lights up, not just one’s vision, but one’s whole inner being.

Faith shuts down destructive thoughts. One might have no idea how to handle a problem, but faith says, “I know my God is bigger than this problem and he will show me a way through. Whether today or tomorrow, I know he is faithful and I trust him with the timing and the method.” And then peace comes. And God is moved to action on our behalf.

How Do I Find The Faith Switch?

How do you activate faith? How do you find a switch that you’ve never pressed? I’m here to say that it is more than possible – and it is quite possibly the next chapter of your life.

What I’m about to say might sound simplistic, but it’s actually profound and involves an action which opens a new doorway. Here it is… (drum roll)… You find the switch by listening to God’s word… and somehow at some moment something profoundly ignites. The Bible says, “faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God” (Romans 10:17). Anyone can do this…

  • Start reading or listening to the Bible. (I suggest starting in the book of Mark).
  • Google ‘Jesus gospel message’ and read/listen.
  • Listen to people of faith talking about God.

And while you’re reading and while you’re listening, ASK GOD to give you faith. Ask him to reveal himself to you and turn that switch on. You actually can’t turn it on without him. (So – none of us WITH faith can boast and say we’re better than anyone else (Ephesians 2:8-9)).

And if nothing happens what have you lost? Some time and effort. Plus you’ve gained some extra life experience and knowledge.

But what if you actually activate the faith switch for the first time. I’m telling you – you will never be the same again!!!

Open the door!

An Open Letter To Australia

Freedom, God, Inspiration, Mental health, Politics, Social Issues, Spiritual, , ,

Australia map 3Dear Australia,

We are an incredible nation. From the natural Uluru to the master built Opera House, we display outstanding beauty. From the original inhabitants to the British settlers to later immigrants, we epitomise diversity, and enjoy its benefits. We are passionate, yet easy going, hard-working, yet know how to celebrate. We despise facades and welcome gut level honesty. So I probably won’t surprise you when I also say… we have some serious problems.

We see never ending domestic violence in the news. The victims suffer in body and soul, robbed of their safety and human dignity, tortured by ongoing emotional turmoil. The perpetrators also suffer – their inner freedom is destroyed by their own hatred and lack of self-control. We are also robbed of their exceptionality.

There is an increasing and pervading darkness. It is most obvious in the atmosphere of our movies – every decade is darker than the one prior. Compare a 1950’s movie to one today. This increased darkness is also obvious in our faces, in our eyes. There is a loss of innocence which stands out.

Our nation is blistering with porn addiction – a huge percentage of particularly men and boys are addicted to lust, driven for a hit, minds altered, innocence lost, robbed of intellectual creativity and freedom because of the addiction that stalks them. And we as a nation are robbed of their finery, of their purest contribution to family and society. Not to mention the many partners who suffer silent anguish.

We see a tsunami of depression. It’s everywhere. Depression sucks the life out of people, robs them of their capacity, their ability to flourish and change, learn and grow. THERE IS NO FREEDOM! We never get to see their best.

I could go on. Each one of us have our own story.

I have to ask… Why are we suffering? What is diminishing our capacity? Where is our inner freedom?

I would like to suggest that as a society we are reaping the fruit of walking our own way.

We sing the song, “I Did It My Way” and “It’s My Life”. We believe that no-one can tell us what to do. ‘It’s my life, my choice.’ And this is true. But we are reaping the consequences. And the consequences are too much!

There must be another way.

Our problems are too big for the government to solve. They are too big for the universities to intellectualise. The media can bring them to our attention, but they can’t change anything? We have millions of different opinions, but which voice do we listen to amidst the cacophony on the airwaves? Nobody has a monopoly on national perspective. Not one of us qualifies for the job!

I put it to you that there is only One who can fix our nation’s problems…

And that One is God.

He’s the only one that sees everything at once, every person, every problem, every pain and the interaction across the globe of all of these things, impact now and impact across the generations. The God that was smart enough to create the intricacies and inter-relatedness of life on the planet is smart enough to restore order, if we will listen.

When we want something done properly, we ask the experts. If God is the creator of our world, our brains, our emotions and our communities, then he is the ultimate expert, so why not find out what he says. Why belittle our potential by following our own myopic vision when we could follow the one who sees everything?

God’s way is very different to ours. The ancient Scriptures read,

 “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord.
“And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.
 For just as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so my ways are higher than your ways
and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8-9, NLT)

 But what are his ways? And how do we walk in them?

I challenge you to find out.

God’s way leads to inner peace, hope and personal freedom. And on a larger scale, to national peace and prosperity. God is good and his ways are right. He personifies love in its purest form, whilst standing firm on justice and truth. He is both holy and revered, gentle and personal. He holds the keys to abundant life and gives us freedom to grab a hold of them… or freedom to choose our own way.

Let’s use our freedom to grab the keys and change our direction. Let’s humble ourselves and admit we are wrong.

I challenge my country, from the politicians, to the workers, from the business owners to those living on welfare, from the students to those serving our community – let’s stop living life our own way and start living life God’s way. It’s a change of perspective. It’s a change of priorities. And it’s therefore a change of consequences.

Let’s be a nation that learns to seek God’s truth and apply it in all areas of life, in every sphere of the community, with all the fruit that entails. Let’s see every individual released into the uniqueness and brilliance of who they have been designed to be. Why wouldn’t we want this? Why wouldn’t we sacrifice everything, including our own false freedom for the true freedom that is available.

In the words of Isaiah, the ancient prophet:

 “Seek the Lord while you can find him.
Call on him now while he is near.
 Let the wicked change their ways
and banish the very thought of doing wrong.
Let them turn to the Lord that he may have mercy on them.
Yes, turn to our God, for he will forgive generously.” (Isaiah 55:6-7, NLT)

Please share this on social media and get the message out!

Mumma’s Wrath

Freedom, God, Inspiration, Marriage, Parenting, Peace, Spiritual, , , , ,

IMG_1162OK this is not going to end up where you think…

I can have patience for a while with things that are out of order. When my kids do the wrong thing, they can get a gentle warning or reprimand. Then if they do it again, the intensity builds and maybe they get an annoyed telling off. Then if they do it again, well the fire heats up. And eventually, without an intervention from the interior grace department, mumma’s wrath comes to the fore!

Same thing with irritating things around the house. I can put up with the leaky tap for a while. My patience deals with it, as there are far more important things to put my attention to. I don’t want to waste time dealing with it. But it niggles. And over time it builds up. And then it gets to the point where – something’s going to happen or else!

The line has been crossed. The decision has been made. And this mumma has HAD ENOUGH!

Well. This is what I call the breakthrough the moment. The moment where change is going to happen. The moment where my will becomes very powerful.

And I apply this to the battles within my mind.

Sometimes I can have stupid thought patterns or habits that are like annoying background music. I put up with them because I am used to them. And I have far more important things to attend to. But there comes a moment – and this is gold – when I have had enough.

As an aside here – I wonder if this is why we get put through the pressure pot sometimes. Because God in his grace knows we are not going to let go of some of our junk, unless we have ‘had enough’. And he wants us to enjoy the freedom that he has on offer. So he sends some challenge our way to artfully guide us to the place of overcoming.

So back to the thought grind. Mumma bear starts growling and says to herself. I have had enough of this junk in my mind. I’m not tolerating this anymore. NO MORE! I’ve had enough.

Well I’ve done this recently with disrespect. I’ve been far too disrespectful in my attitude to my husband. I’ve been trying to change this for a long time, but I’ve just always gone back to old attitudes of thinking. And I’ve observed in my journey with God, that breakthrough doesn’t usually happen until I get to this point of ‘had enough’.

Well I’ve had enough of turmoil in our home. We have five kids, two with special needs. And we get a lot of turmoil at different times. It’s so challenging that I need to get rid of every stress that I can. So I’ve been praying for more peace. And this is what God is bringing to my attention. Respect. Ouchy ouch. Well, I decided I’ve had enough of being disrespectful, I’ve had enough of trying to change and failing. I want God’s way. And I want it to change NOW!!!

So now I’ve been turning the corner. I’ve been practising a new attitude. I’ve been practising respect. I read a short article recently about a Jew in a concentration camp who determined to respect their abusers. And I thought – well  – what excuse do I have? It’s not about whether my husband’s actions or words deserve respect, but it’s about who I am as a person inside.

Well on this path, I have to admit that it is actually bringing more peace. Not only in our marriage. But it has done something in me, so that I interact with the kids now more respectfully, which brings more peace and less turmoil, as they respond better. And the fruit of this down the track will be that the kids will be more respectful to us and each other, and this will in turn bring more peace. It’s like the opposite of a vicious cycle. Keeps getting better and better. I’m on the path now – it’s onward and upward.

What path do you need to get on? What’s it going to take to activate your will to make a stand. Enough is enough. Here’s the line. No more!