Category Archives: God

An Open Letter To Australia

Freedom, God, Inspiration, Mental health, Politics, Social Issues, Spiritual, , ,

Australia map 3Dear Australia,

We are an incredible nation. From the natural Uluru to the master built Opera House, we display outstanding beauty. From the original inhabitants to the British settlers to later immigrants, we epitomise diversity, and enjoy its benefits. We are passionate, yet easy going, hard-working, yet know how to celebrate. We despise facades and welcome gut level honesty. So I probably won’t surprise you when I also say… we have some serious problems.

We see never ending domestic violence in the news. The victims suffer in body and soul, robbed of their safety and human dignity, tortured by ongoing emotional turmoil. The perpetrators also suffer – their inner freedom is destroyed by their own hatred and lack of self-control. We are also robbed of their exceptionality.

There is an increasing and pervading darkness. It is most obvious in the atmosphere of our movies – every decade is darker than the one prior. Compare a 1950’s movie to one today. This increased darkness is also obvious in our faces, in our eyes. There is a loss of innocence which stands out.

Our nation is blistering with porn addiction – a huge percentage of particularly men and boys are addicted to lust, driven for a hit, minds altered, innocence lost, robbed of intellectual creativity and freedom because of the addiction that stalks them. And we as a nation are robbed of their finery, of their purest contribution to family and society. Not to mention the many partners who suffer silent anguish.

We see a tsunami of depression. It’s everywhere. Depression sucks the life out of people, robs them of their capacity, their ability to flourish and change, learn and grow. THERE IS NO FREEDOM! We never get to see their best.

I could go on. Each one of us have our own story.

I have to ask… Why are we suffering? What is diminishing our capacity? Where is our inner freedom?

I would like to suggest that as a society we are reaping the fruit of walking our own way.

We sing the song, “I Did It My Way” and “It’s My Life”. We believe that no-one can tell us what to do. ‘It’s my life, my choice.’ And this is true. But we are reaping the consequences. And the consequences are too much!

There must be another way.

Our problems are too big for the government to solve. They are too big for the universities to intellectualise. The media can bring them to our attention, but they can’t change anything? We have millions of different opinions, but which voice do we listen to amidst the cacophony on the airwaves? Nobody has a monopoly on national perspective. Not one of us qualifies for the job!

I put it to you that there is only One who can fix our nation’s problems…

And that One is God.

He’s the only one that sees everything at once, every person, every problem, every pain and the interaction across the globe of all of these things, impact now and impact across the generations. The God that was smart enough to create the intricacies and inter-relatedness of life on the planet is smart enough to restore order, if we will listen.

When we want something done properly, we ask the experts. If God is the creator of our world, our brains, our emotions and our communities, then he is the ultimate expert, so why not find out what he says. Why belittle our potential by following our own myopic vision when we could follow the one who sees everything?

God’s way is very different to ours. The ancient Scriptures read,

 “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord.
“And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.
 For just as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so my ways are higher than your ways
and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8-9, NLT)

 But what are his ways? And how do we walk in them?

I challenge you to find out.

God’s way leads to inner peace, hope and personal freedom. And on a larger scale, to national peace and prosperity. God is good and his ways are right. He personifies love in its purest form, whilst standing firm on justice and truth. He is both holy and revered, gentle and personal. He holds the keys to abundant life and gives us freedom to grab a hold of them… or freedom to choose our own way.

Let’s use our freedom to grab the keys and change our direction. Let’s humble ourselves and admit we are wrong.

I challenge my country, from the politicians, to the workers, from the business owners to those living on welfare, from the students to those serving our community – let’s stop living life our own way and start living life God’s way. It’s a change of perspective. It’s a change of priorities. And it’s therefore a change of consequences.

Let’s be a nation that learns to seek God’s truth and apply it in all areas of life, in every sphere of the community, with all the fruit that entails. Let’s see every individual released into the uniqueness and brilliance of who they have been designed to be. Why wouldn’t we want this? Why wouldn’t we sacrifice everything, including our own false freedom for the true freedom that is available.

In the words of Isaiah, the ancient prophet:

 “Seek the Lord while you can find him.
Call on him now while he is near.
 Let the wicked change their ways
and banish the very thought of doing wrong.
Let them turn to the Lord that he may have mercy on them.
Yes, turn to our God, for he will forgive generously.” (Isaiah 55:6-7, NLT)

Please share this on social media and get the message out!

Mumma’s Wrath

Freedom, God, Inspiration, Marriage, Parenting, Peace, Spiritual, , , , ,

IMG_1162OK this is not going to end up where you think…

I can have patience for a while with things that are out of order. When my kids do the wrong thing, they can get a gentle warning or reprimand. Then if they do it again, the intensity builds and maybe they get an annoyed telling off. Then if they do it again, well the fire heats up. And eventually, without an intervention from the interior grace department, mumma’s wrath comes to the fore!

Same thing with irritating things around the house. I can put up with the leaky tap for a while. My patience deals with it, as there are far more important things to put my attention to. I don’t want to waste time dealing with it. But it niggles. And over time it builds up. And then it gets to the point where – something’s going to happen or else!

The line has been crossed. The decision has been made. And this mumma has HAD ENOUGH!

Well. This is what I call the breakthrough the moment. The moment where change is going to happen. The moment where my will becomes very powerful.

And I apply this to the battles within my mind.

Sometimes I can have stupid thought patterns or habits that are like annoying background music. I put up with them because I am used to them. And I have far more important things to attend to. But there comes a moment – and this is gold – when I have had enough.

As an aside here – I wonder if this is why we get put through the pressure pot sometimes. Because God in his grace knows we are not going to let go of some of our junk, unless we have ‘had enough’. And he wants us to enjoy the freedom that he has on offer. So he sends some challenge our way to artfully guide us to the place of overcoming.

So back to the thought grind. Mumma bear starts growling and says to herself. I have had enough of this junk in my mind. I’m not tolerating this anymore. NO MORE! I’ve had enough.

Well I’ve done this recently with disrespect. I’ve been far too disrespectful in my attitude to my husband. I’ve been trying to change this for a long time, but I’ve just always gone back to old attitudes of thinking. And I’ve observed in my journey with God, that breakthrough doesn’t usually happen until I get to this point of ‘had enough’.

Well I’ve had enough of turmoil in our home. We have five kids, two with special needs. And we get a lot of turmoil at different times. It’s so challenging that I need to get rid of every stress that I can. So I’ve been praying for more peace. And this is what God is bringing to my attention. Respect. Ouchy ouch. Well, I decided I’ve had enough of being disrespectful, I’ve had enough of trying to change and failing. I want God’s way. And I want it to change NOW!!!

So now I’ve been turning the corner. I’ve been practising a new attitude. I’ve been practising respect. I read a short article recently about a Jew in a concentration camp who determined to respect their abusers. And I thought – well  – what excuse do I have? It’s not about whether my husband’s actions or words deserve respect, but it’s about who I am as a person inside.

Well on this path, I have to admit that it is actually bringing more peace. Not only in our marriage. But it has done something in me, so that I interact with the kids now more respectfully, which brings more peace and less turmoil, as they respond better. And the fruit of this down the track will be that the kids will be more respectful to us and each other, and this will in turn bring more peace. It’s like the opposite of a vicious cycle. Keeps getting better and better. I’m on the path now – it’s onward and upward.

What path do you need to get on? What’s it going to take to activate your will to make a stand. Enough is enough. Here’s the line. No more!

An Open Letter to You

Freedom, God, Inspiration, Spiritual, , , , ,

Gold FrameI often say to my kids, ‘how come you’re so gorgeous’. Sometimes they remember the answer… ‘because God made me’. Then I like to say, ‘God did a good job when he made you!’

And that’s what I want to say to YOU – ‘God did a good job when he made you!’ He didn’t stuff up. You’re not a half attempt. He’s the expert at making people. He’s the ultra creator, the masterpiece maker. And that’s what you are – a masterpiece.

So why hide? So why look down on yourself? Why try and fit in with everyone else. You are unique. You are amazing. You reflect the extravagance and amazing mind of the greatest being EVER.

Be who you have been made to be. Be all of it. Don’t hold back. Don’t let fear hold you back.

Unleash you. Hahahaha! YES!!!!!

Personally I find myself most free and most authentic in God. When I live and breathe in him, I get free. I become myself. Because God is my source, my creator and my enabler.

Why not draw from the life source. Connect with him. That’s where true freedom is! That’s where you find out who you really are.

*Lovely gold frame picture from www.doodlecraftblog.com 

Refusing Fear

Angry, Anxiety, Emotions, Freedom, God, Inspiration, Joy, Mental health, Peace, Spiritual, , , ,

angry cat

I’ve got an attitude towards fear. I’m cross with it.

Fear robs people of joy and robs people of peace. That’s very, very destructive. What a miserable party pooper!

I’ve observed something about fear. It starts with something that is true or partially true and it builds on it. This gets the person in agreement. And from this point it can build a nice little castle in the person’s heart. It gets bigger and bigger, bit by bit, slowly by slowly. Until eventually the fear can be quite irrational and overpowering.

I got cross with this fear. It’s not from God. It’s from his archenemy the devil, who actually exists and who wants to rob our lives of everything precious and wonderful. He twists truth and seeks our agreement.

ENOUGH!!! I’ve decided to stop agreeing with the fear. Hahahaha. This has been wonderful and part of my liberating process. So now what happens is… I see a fear… and then I think, but but but… it’s possible… this could happen… so I’m worried about it. And then I see – I’M GETTING ROBBED OF MY FREEDOM!!!!

Cos I realised something really powerful. Hahahaha. I DON’T HAVE TO AGREE with that fear ANYMORE!!! So I get an attitude. I get stubborn. I say NOOOOOOO!

Sometimes a conversation may go on in my head. I refuse the fear. Then it might pester me. At this point it actually gets fun, because I get like a little kid who is digging their heals in. “NUP. NUP. NUP. I don’t care what ‘truth’ you are telling me fear. You are not from God. And you are robbing me. So I don’t want A BAR OF IT.”

When I persist in my disagreement, the fear weakens and eventually goes away. And then I am FREE!

And the next time fear comes, I am stronger to face it. My fear refusal muscle is growing.

No Guilt

Anxiety, Emotions, Freedom, God, Inspiration, Joy, Mental health, Parenting, Spiritual, Stress, , ,

Jesus baggageIt’s a lovely feeling – the absence of guilt. Instead there’s freedom. And therefore joy. And relief.

Guilt is a horrible plague. It sucks the life away and keeps one in misery land. You can never achieve perfection and the guilt just rubs it in and rubs it in endlessly.

The guilty thoughts are based on truth so they are easy to embrace and believe. I should be a better parent, a better wife, a better friend, a better citizen. And so you should! Hahaha what a miserable answer! But you won’t be able to live up to your ideals no matter how hard you try.

Sometimes a perfect day appears. I’ve had them. I’m the perfect mother, responding with grace, wisdom, love, joy. Soothing everyone’s pain and dissolving arguments, cooking a great meal, perfecting household cleanliness and even managing sex at 11pm at night. So the standard is set and this must be maintained.

But it’s IMPOSSIBLE!

The next day you’re tired. You’re grumpy. You start off patient, but one of the kids tips you over too far and you yell. Then you feel guilty and so you act a bit kinder. But then later you feel guilty because you were too soft. You remember all the parenting rules you’re breaking and you feel guilty for that too.

I have a secret to tell. I’ve had God helping me he he he. And he’s an expert at taking away guilt. He’s been rather intent recently on bringing me to a place of freedom. It’s a really nice place to be. He gently challenges my ideals and teaches me to trust him and let stuff go. One thing at a time. He is pretty patient and very loving.

When I trust him to grow me I don’t have to feel guilty about how I am or am not being. I just focus on trusting him to bring me to where I need to be. He’s responsible. I just work with him and understand he has immense patience with me. I trust in his patience and in his love.

When I trust him to grow my kids, the pressure is off me. I’m not the ‘be all and end all’. Lots of people contribute to my kids’ development. And I see God’s hand directing things in their lives. Without this guilt, I’m a better and more loving mum. Still not perfect, but free. And I’m happy for my kids to have a free mum.

When I trust him to take care of my husband, I’m free from a lot of stress. Hahaha. That sounds really bad. But my interference never amounts to good anyway. My husband is way too free spirited and independent and very resistant of my attempts to bring him to my standards of perfection. And a good thing too. Hey, sounds like I’m talking from experience haha. Trusting God helps a lot.

When I trust him to direct me, I don’t have to feel guilty about what I am or am not doing. I’m free. And I know he directs and prompts me, so I can relax knowing I can trust him to steer the ship. My heart is set on him and walking in his ways. And I pray that he will keep me from falling. And I trust him and I don’t trust myself.

Perfect Scripture about guilt is this one: “Therefore there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1). All our guilt has been wiped away. It got put on Jesus. That’s why he died. He did mighty thing in that moment so we could be free. When I put my trust in him, the guilt dissolves. He’s big enough to take it all. He’s big enough to handle my trust. So I am free.

20 Simple Mummy Helps

Emotions, God, Inspiration, Mental health, Parenting, Special Needs, Spiritual, Stress, Twaddle, , , , ,

Headphones

  1. Headphones

Why get stressed out by ongoing kid noise when you can wear headphones? It took me a while to cotton onto this one. I was too afraid that I would miss hearing something important, e.g. a safety issue. But the kids are old enough now to come to me if needed. And I can still hear noise, it’s just everything is muffled. Most of the time I don’t wear them, but when I need a break, or I need energy to go a little longer, they make all the difference.

  1. iPads

Thanks to Anglicare we got two iPads for Summer and Sarah. I’m not a fan of too much screen-time. My ideal is about half an hour a day during the week, and maybe an hour on each day of the weekend. I don’t live up to this ideal when I am overtired. And especially with Summer, if I don’t have carer support, the iPad is a big help for her and for me and for the rest of the family. Not feeling guilty, just accepting the season is not ideal.

  1. Rules

Kiara, Josiah and Micah love screen-time. But they’re not allowed their quota unless their jobs are done and their room is tidy. I love this rule. In the holidays I get to hear them having conversations – let’s tidy our rooms and do our jobs and then let’s play Minecraft. Hahaha. No intervention from me. Sorted! During term, there’s not so much free time, so they care less about screen-time and rooms can get messy. And I can get grumpy.

  1. 20 things

Micah can get overwhelmed with a messy room. After all he is only five. I caught onto a good thing again the other day. Recycling strategies that worked for the older two. “Just pick up twenty things then have a break. Then do another twenty things.” So every now and then during the day I’d say, do another twenty. He was pretty happy with this after seeing how easy the first twenty was. And then he became pretty quick. In the end he sped up as he wanted screen-time.

  1. Music

In the mornings I put on my favourite songs. For me it is a Youtube mix of Hillsong, Bethel and some other worship songs. Love it. It sets the atmosphere and helps me stay nicer.

  1. Chocolate

A couple of pieces of chocolate in the afternoon make me feel happy. But not too much, or they make my body feel depressed. Note to self.

  1. Nanna nap

I used to rest for 15 minutes every four hours. That was a life-line when the kids were pre-school age. Even if they were crawling on me I lay horizontal for 15 minutes. I set the timer. The only reason I did it was because God told me too and I love him so I obeyed. Now I have 20-30 minutes rest in the afternoon. Lovely, lovely, lovely. No guilts. Good for me. Good for everyone.

  1. Down time

Basic for some. It wasn’t for me. I used to work all the time, except for my scheduled rests (as above). I hated wasting time. This year I’ve learned to have down time. iPad game, puzzles, sitting and staring, eating, chilling, dancing, cuddling kids. The only reason I learned this, was because I felt God impressing on my heart that he wanted me to learn this, and I felt his pleasure at my freedom in this. Otherwise I would have written it off as time wasting and felt guilty. It took a while, but now I feel free and happy. Sometimes I have a LOT of down time.

  1. Checking in with God

I regularly check in with the Holy Spirit to see if he’s saying something, or to feel how he’s reacting. He often gives me ideas or promptings or confidence. Or if I feel unease, I wait and don’t do what I was thinking. This helps me more than anything else. He has knowledge and awareness that is way beyond me and my capabilities. It saves a lot of problems checking in with him.

  1. Lovely things

I’m gathering more and more things that I LOVE around the house. Hanging fake vines around our arch entrance, a big sky sticker on the ceiling, red chair in my office, beautiful pictures on the wall. I’ve found a new freedom in decorating. Instead of wondering what is stylish or culturally acceptable, I’m asking a different question – do I LOVE it? Now I feel happy every time I walk into each room. Joy producing.

  1. Sex with the husband

Definitely not with anyone else. That would wreck things. My friend describes sex as the glue for relationships. It eases tensions and fosters connection. Fun too 🙂

  1. Blue sky and white clouds

Imagine if it was grey all day, every day. Nope. We get ever changing sky scapes of exquisite artistry. Better than pictures on the wall. Now my kids have got the sky joy bug, pointing them out to me on car trips! I pulled over to take photos, but alas the pictures were lousy.

  1. After school care

I didn’t want to put any of my kids in after school care. That was for those who had to, because they worked. My attitude was that my kids need to be home after a full day at school. They need to be with me. This year I gave after school care a go for my two boys, Micah and Josiah in term 2. I only did it because if felt prompted to try it out, and wondered if it was the Holy Spirit prompting me. I was pleased to discover it was really cheap after the rebates were applied. And I was even happier to discover that the boys LOVED it! Way more than I expected. They got upset when I picked them up too early, so I worked out the best time so they were happy. This made a huge difference to my afternoon routine. Summer and Sarah are now able to come home to a quieter house and settle in with the carer. The boys get to have fun with other kids and don’t have to endure the stress of Summer’s entrance to the home. And I get longer to rest and recover from the adrenal crash I had last year. And my husband can work longer if needed and not stress about coming home to help with the kids. Wow. So simple, but making a big difference.

  1. The tuna meal.

One time when preparing to cook dinner I didn’t know what to do. I checked in with the Holy Spirit and got an idea for some ingredients. I didn’t think it sounded very nice, but thought I’d try it, as I’ve learned to trust Holy Spirit more than myself. Can of tuna, homebrand packet of chicken noodle soup, curry powder, coconut cream, frozen peas, frozen corn. Thrown in frypan together and heated. Served with cooked pasta. Five minutes to prepare and cook. HEALTHY. CHEAP. Actually VERY YUMMY. Well for me and the kids. (Kristin not so keen). In fact the kids REALLY like it! (Maybe your family won’t). But this has been a lifesaver when I’m over it and realise OH NO I HAVE TO COOK DINNER!!!

  1. Hot showers

LONG hot shower. No guilt. My Father God owns and supplies the water and pays the bills. Big sigh of relief for number 15!

  1. The Library

Three of my kids love reading. The older two get 40 books each and then disappear. More peace in the house hooray! Good for them. Good for everyone.

  1. The Salvos

Guilt free clothes shopping. More for your money. Half price on certain things on certain days. Today I found the perfect picture frame for a print I was going to have to get custom framed. $6 instead of $60? Lots of joy over that one!

  1. Divide and conquer

On the weekend Kristin takes Summer out with him in the car. I stay home with the other four. Or we swap it around. Changing it up gives everyone space and variety and definitely helps keep the peace.

  1. Buffer time

We used to be late most of the time. Now we are not perfect, but we are significantly improved. My maths is a little different. Instead of deciding the time we leave based on the best case scenario, I add in 5-15 minutes of buffer time. It makes all the difference.

  1. Twaddle

I get a bit silly sometimes, especially with the kids. I remember reading somewhere that playfulness is not friends with anxiety. As God has been cultivating more and more freedom in me, it is spilling out in fun stuff. Writing twaddle, dancing silly, pulling faces with the kids, just having fun. Definitely need and want more of this!

Love, Freedom, Truth

Autism, Bible, Emotions, Freedom, God, Homosexuality, Inspiration, Joy, Love, Marriage, Mental health, Microcephaly, Parenting, Social Issues, Special Needs, Spiritual, Stress, , , , , , , ,

 

Musings mum and Summer outsideThere’s so much wrestling going on in my mind. Love, freedom, truth. Over and over.

God is love. His love is SO good. It’s beyond our human experience. The Scripture oozes with examples and direct conveyances of his love. “How wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ” (Ephesians 3:18); “this love that surpasses knowledge” (Ephesians 3:19); “this is how we know what love is, Jesus Christ laid down his life for us (1 John 3:16). Etc, etc. Just google and you will find a GOLD MINE.

It hurts to know even a smidgeon of this love, and to know that so many have ABSOLUTELY no idea of the depth and the richness and the spiritually overwhelming goodness of this. It’s actually upsetting!

And the life giving Scriptures tell us that the world will know who Jesus’ disciples are by their love for one another (John 13:35).

That one upsets me too. Even though God has placed his love in our hearts, we often do a really lousy job of conveying this love. When we are in his presence it is easy. But then we can so easily slip into our old bad habits. We get cross, we get grumpy, we are not loving. SO frustrating!!!

But then we get his love dose. And when this happens, the outcome can be amazing. We can overlook the judgments, the insults, the kids’ bad behaviour, the stress. And love conquers all. It actually does. In moments like these, our soul is deepened in God’s strength. We become mighty overcomers.

I remember when my three youngest children were milling around me in the kitchen. Summer (the one with microcephaly and autism) was agitated, Sarah was whinging. They were all noisy and demanding. I felt pulled, I felt stressed. And it was after a really stressful car trip with all five kids, having to sit next to Summer and manage her behaviour full-time for about 50 minutes. I was really stretched! I felt like I was about to snap, like a war was going on inside me. And then something rose up from deep within me. Something erupted that shocked me. A groan came from my inner being and I unleashed the words, “I LOVE YOU SUMMER!” The kids looked at me shocked. And then I swiftly moved and embraced Summer and poured out love from my heart all over her. It just oozed from every pore of my being. There was such joy and freedom. And I knew this was the place that I wanted to live life every day. I had energy to move forward. I didn’t want to escape anymore. It transformed that moment for me and the kids.

If only we could live in this zone 24/7. How different life would be! I believe God gives tastes of heaven, of his goodness of his love. And then he teaches us how to live like this more and more.

And then I think of truth. God’s truth. Not the twaddle of relativism that we’ve been spoon-fed by our culture over the last few decades. I love God’s truth. It is liberating. God’s ways are the ways of freedom. If only I could shout from the city’s billboards how amazing truth is. Some luscious Scriptures come to mind… “Jesus is the way, the truth and the life” (John 14:6); “then you will know the truth and truth will set you free” (John 8:32).

But truth on its own can often come across so weakly for those who do not agree. There is so much variety of opinion in the world, that to talk about truth from the one who made it, is not received so well. And it can come across as hateful, especially when you quote verses on homosexuality, etc. It makes me sad that what is so precious and so life-giving, can seem so corrupt. And it is not!

I wrestle with how do we present this truth. I see Christians who just tell it like it is, straight as an arrow. And I see Christians who despise this approach and emphasise the need to come from love and no judgment. I look at the Scripture and I see a loving God who is straight down the line with his speech. But he oozes love 24/7 and so when it comes, it comes from a place of love.

One thing I have learnt from being married, is that skill is important to some extent. I can learn relationship skills, I can learn better ways to phrase things so that conflict goes down better. This is hard but can be worthwhile. But what is SO much more effective is when my heart is in the right place. When I ooze God’s love and I’ve been in his presence and my heart is wanting freedom for my husband as well as myself, without condemnation or judgment or unrighteous anger, THEN IT IS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT and it doesn’t matter how I say it, because what is read is far beyond words. Maybe not all of the time. But even if it is not received, I am still free. I am not fuming. I am full of love and joy. And it is certainly a lot easier for the other person to hear.

This seems all wonderfully ideal and there is lots of truth here. But I’m not 24/7 living out Jesus. And so I wrestle, with love, truth and freedom.

One thing I will finish with. When I have spoken hard stuff to people and it’s come from my own sense of timing, it hasn’t worked very well. I’ve not seen good fruit. But when the Holy Spirit has prompted me to speak hard stuff, and even though I’m scared I do it, it’s completely different. It’s been received, not necessarily followed, but seen as love.

At the end of the day, I conclude I trust God and I want him to grow me. And I want him to direct me. Because his way works. And mine doesn’t. And I want to speak his truth with love and power. That I hunger for so much!

I’m Not Ideal

Emotions, Exhaustion, Freedom, God, Inspiration, Mental health, Peace, Spiritual, , , , , , , ,

A+I’ve been a chaser of the ideal. A lover of perfection. But I have discovered multiple times that I am considerably lacking in ideal. Haha it’s so funny. And I keep forgetting this lesson which is even funnier. And tiring!

Fortunately for me, God is ideal. Well – in His book, maybe not ours. (He’s out of the box!)

I remember the first big lesson was in the year 2000. I had finished my music and teaching degree and was in my first year of teaching full-time, secondary music and psychology. It must have been in the second half of the year, as I was tired. I was feeling worn down. It was a full-on year getting used to full-time work, but what was worse, was I was frustrated with my growth as a Christian.

I was always passionate about growing in God. As a teenager I used to have charts to tick off my Bible reading, Bible memorisation and time spend with God (TWG for short). I would set goals and pursue them for a few days or a week, then I would get distracted or lack the will and give up. Then I’d feel guilty and bad and horrible and far from God and miserable. Then after a few months, I’d connect with God wonderfully, have a big cry and write letters to my future self about how awesome it was to be in His presence, and how I needed to press through in future and not give up.

But in the future I would keep not pressing in. I would get bored. I would get tired. Then the guilt, etc, etc. Cycle after cycle.

By the year 2000 I had done this cycle lots and lots of times. And I was tired. I felt like a failure. I tried so hard but couldn’t win. Aaarrggh!!!!

Well I sat down in my loungeroom in Boronia and I decided to quit. I decided to tell God that I wasn’t giving up on him, but I was giving up on trying to grow myself, because it wasn’t working. I told God that he had to grow me, as I was giving up.

Hahahahaha. I think that’s what God was WAITING FOR!!!! He must have been shouting HALLELUJAH!

Well, later that week, a light came on in my soul. I had felt dead for a long time, so I noticed the difference. I didn’t put the light on, it just came there, and I knew God had done it in answer to my prayer. Then he put an idea in my heart to connect with a fellow teacher at the school, to ask her to mentor me in prayer. So I did what I was told, and that was great. My life started to build.

And time and time again, I watched God take the initiative. He would put something on my mind or heart and I would hear and just do it. And then life would come, then growth would come. And it was SO much easier. He led me to breakthroughs and overcoming and winning. Well not everything all at once, unfortunately for my poor impatience. But fortunately for my patience, he did things at his pace, some slow, some fast. His choice, his timing.

I learnt (and am still learning) to not worry about my imperfections, as I knew God would take care of it eventually. There was no point on me improving myself in that area, until God decided it was time to work on it. Cos then there would be grace. I learnt to trust the Holy Spirit that he knows the right timing. He’s the master craftsmen. He knows what to do and when. So delicate an operation sometimes. He’s seriously brilliant. I have watched him over and over in amazement!

I do pray and ask God’s intervention in stuff. I don’t just sit back and stare. But then I trust (or I need to trust) that he’s heard and will tackle it when he sees best. Often he does a little bit of tackling some time within that week, I think just to encourage me and let me know he’s onto it. And the more I press in with prayer, the more active he gets. So it’s definitely two way street. But without him, I may as well pick up my bat and ball and go home. Cos there will be no winning, no real life change, just a little rat going around and around the improvement wheel and getting tired!

I’m Ticked Off!

Angry, Emotions, Freedom, Freedom of Speech, God, Homosexuality, Social Issues, Spiritual, XXX, , , , , , , ,

angry emoticon

I’m feeling mad today. I’m feeling angry at so many lies going around, that are being chewed up and swallowed by the wider community. Lies that keep people locked in chains, that take away freedom.

For a long time I’ve felt muzzled. I’ve felt like it’s not OK for me to say what I really think. Because what I have to say in the current cultural climate and ideology is…

  1. Embarrassing
  2. Unpopular
  3. Outdated
  4. Irrelevant
  5. Bigoted
  6. Hatred

Aaaaargh!!! I’ve been tipped over the edge and now I have to SPEAK!

God is TRUE! God is LOVE!

God loves gay people. God loves transgender people. God loves politicians. God loves adulterers. God loves kind old ladies. God loves everyone!

And he is not interested in chaining people up and making their lives miserable. He is in the business of bringing freedom. Not freedom to do what one feels in the moment. But true freedom. Inner peace, inner joy, liberty of spirit and soul. What we all really LONG for!

So I’m angry. Because God is misrepresented. He is not a bigot. And true followers of his are NOT bigots! They are the biggest love balloons that the world has ever seen. And if it pops on top of you, you get a love dose! You don’t get a rifle in your face, you get LOVE. And if you have met one who is a bigot, then understand they are on a love journey. None of us are perfect, just like you!

And this God I’m talking about – he wrote the Bible. It’s his book, written through inspiration from him. Him himself! And it’s good stuff.

And the stuff in there that you think is judgment and bigotry and hatred is NOT THAT AT ALL!

I used to hear people say that when you read the Old Testament books of the prophets, that God was such an angry and vindictive God. As a teenager I read these books. All of them at once, all in a row. And I braced myself. But what I saw was not an angry and vindictive God. I saw a God that desperately loved his people SO MUCH. He kept warning them again and again and again and again to turn from living life their own way, and to turn back to HIM. He warned them of consequences if they didn’t. When they listened, he forgave them. So freely, and with so much love and joy. He’s a loving father. And when they didn’t, after immense patience – far more than I would ever have – he brought judgment.

He must have hated seeing such unnecessary suffering after bringing judgment. But he understands the bigger picture. He sees the short-term and long-term impact of living life one’s own way. He sees the inner individual devastation and he sees the wider community devastation. And he puts a stop to it. And what he does is from LOVE because that is who he is. And with our puny minds we can’t understand some of the things he does, but he GETS it. Because he is the only one that sees the bigger picture!

God wants us to walk about in FREEDOM. He has let us know very bluntly in the Bible, the things that will take away our individual and community freedom. Things like lying, stealing, murder, coveting, adultery, etc, etc. He created us and he knows what works and what doesn’t work. He knows what breaks us as individuals and what destroys communites. We need to listen to him. We need to read his Word and take it seriously.

When he writes about homosexuality being an abomination, it’s not because he’s a bigot and he hates a segment of the community. It’s because he’s the loving Creator and he knows what we are made for. He knows what is good for us. He wants us to live the richest, most fulfilling lives in love with him, in trust with him and in unity with him. It means laying down our own agendas, our own wills and trusting him. And there we find our true selves and what we have been created to be.

When we are willing to trust him with our lives, and let him work in us he can do miracles! He can do the impossible. He can take long-term feelings, addictions, thought patterns, ways of thinking, beliefs and turn them around, dissolve them and bring true freedom. Sometimes it’s overnight. Sometimes it’s over a lifetime. But we have to trust him and submit to his shaping.

Jesus came to set the oppressed free. He came to bring liberty to the captives. He gave his life away to dismantle the power of sin and Satan so we could have true freedom and union with him.

Aargh! That’s another one… I’m tired of being scared to talk about Satan. Because science has scoffed at the notion of an evil supernatural being. So believing there is a devil has vibes of anti-intellectualism and being out of date. But we are spiritual beings. Most of the planet will acknowledge this, plus the truth – yes truth – that there is a God. If there is a good God, and there is, then it is not so absurd to believe that there is an evil supernatural being.

Satan is the one that we are at war with. Not gays with Christians. Not pro-lifers versus pro-choicers. Not whatever versus whatever. Satan is at war with gays. He wants to rob them of their true selves and keep them chained up. He wants to feed them with lies that this is who they are. God is not against gays. He wants to expose Satan’s lies and show them who they really are, sons and daughters made in the image of God. He wants to teach them his ways and lead them in his paths. He wants to deliver them from their sexual bondage and bring them into their true sexual identity, as he created them to be.

I’ve had enough of the stupid rhetoric. I’ve had enough of the accusations of hatred.

When Jesus was on earth, the religious leaders brought a woman who had been caught in the act of adultery and demanded she be stoned. They asked Jesus about it. He said, ‘let him who is without sin cast the first stone’. Talk about the grace genius! But that wasn’t all. After the woman’s accusers all left, Jesus told the woman that he didn’t condemn her and told her to go and sin no more. He did two things. He forgave her. And he told her to stop sinning.

Same with homosexuality. Same with any sin. Jesus forgives and says, ‘go and sin no more’.

What we feel like is not necessarily good for us or society. We need to stop idolising our feelings and start paying attention to what our Creator says. He’s the only one that knows the bigger picture. He’s the only one that knows what works and what doesn’t.

One of my favourite Bible verses is in Psalm 119:45: “I will walk about in freedom for I have sought your commands”.

The Day Road Signs Excited Me

Bible, Emotions, Excited, Freedom, God, Inspiration, Joy, Love, Spiritual, , , , , ,

 

Speed Limit Sign3In my early 20s I was given the opportunity to preach at my local church. I was excited. Unlike many people who fear public speaking, I love it. I wanted to bring a good smacking sermon. Something with some punch and grit. I decided to speak on obedience.

I presented my great idea to the Holy Spirit, but felt like he said, ‘no – love and obedience’. I didn’t like that answer, so I tried again. Maybe I had heard wrong. But I got the same answer. So I let it be and kept thinking about my sermon on obedience. But I had no peace about it. I kept remembering about love and obedience. But I was miserable about this because I felt that the inclusion of love was going to make my sermon fluffy and nice, with a lack of punch. It reminded me of Sunday school and being good and being nice. All sweet, but I wanted PUNCH! To be honest, I had no heart revelation.

As time was running out I started to feel desperate. And I felt miserable. I was not passionate about the topic and I couldn’t bear to preach without being passionate. I couldn’t fake it! So I earnestly pleaded with God, ‘if you want me to preach on ‘love and obedience’ then you have to give me a revelation!’

I don’t know how much later, but I remember being in my loungeroom in front of the gas heater, in Boronia, Melbourne. I was in the presence of God. I can’t remember how it happened, but I remember that it was incredibly intense. I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to stay in His presence forever. It was so incredibly wonderful, like nothing one can experience in any other possible way. I felt his love SO strong. This was so long ago, but I cry so much just writing this. It was so deeply profound and life changing.

The biggest thing I remember was feeling like I couldn’t wait to be tested on an area of sin, no matter how small, so I could OBEY God. Because I LOVED him! I just couldn’t wait to obey Him so I could express this LOVE. The next day I knew I would be driving to work at Northside Christian College. Haha now I remember what year it was – 2000. I couldn’t wait to get in my car and stick to the speed limit… because I LOVED GOD and I didn’t want to break the road rules – even a little bit. Normally I reluctantly kept to the speed limit, because I knew it was right – but I would push it a bit. I like a bit of adrenalin and a bit of racing and winning. So my driving was to speed off at the lights and beat the other cars, then slow down when I got just over the speed limit, cos I knew 3km over was safe to not get fined. But not this time. I was going to delight in sticking to the speed limit, finding joy in every step of the journey, every practice of patience. It was not a burden, it was an absolute joy! I can’t tell you how much I thoroughly enjoyed this.

The ecstasy of this revelation did not remain at this intense level, but dissipated to a lower level over time. But I have never ever ever forgotten this revelation. It has been written into the core of my heart. When I do what God tells me to do, it is with pleasure and trust, because I love Him. The energy to obey is so different. The gritting one’s teeth is not like it was. It can be hard, it can be tough, but when I think of who is asking, my heart is so, so much quicker to respond and with joy. I love Him so much. This changed my life and the way I view life and sin and reading the Bible. Everything!

I’m not as loving a driver as I was that first day, but I’m still long-term transformed.

Jesus said, “if you love me, keep my commands” (John 14:15) and “Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me” (John 14:21) and “Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching.” (John 14:23). Jesus repeated this over and over to make sure his disciples ‘got it’.

John who recorded these words must have ‘got it’, because in his subsequent letter of 1 John, he writes “in fact, this is love for God: to keep his commands. And his commands are not burdensome,” (1 John 5:3) and then from another angle, “Those who keep his commands live in him, and he in them.” (1 John 3:24)

My Happy Place

Anxiety, Autism, Emotions, Exhaustion, Freedom, God, Inspiration, Joy, Mental health, Microcephaly, Peace, Special Needs, , , , , , , , ,

Rest chairThe stress and exhaustion got to the point, where wise advice from someone really close, was to put our middle child Summer in a home for six months, so that my husband and I could recover and focus on the other children. Summer has microcephaly, a moderate intellectual disability and autism. Challenging behaviour has been part of the package.

Anxiety medication for our daughter was always a last resort, and so we thought this would be the time to try it. Better than giving her up for six months.

But another dear lady, in a two hour soul emergency phone call, urged me to rest in Jesus. She also had had an adrenal crash one year prior, and had gone deep with Jesus. I caught the vision.

I spent three days with my primary focus as sitting in my super comfy lounge recliner. Resting in Jesus. I knew I had to do this. Even if the medication helped Summer, I was too wrecked to even look after five normal kids, let alone two with special needs. I needed a personal breakthrough.

I sat in my super comfy chair and I didn’t want to get up.

OK I have to do this quick aside… It’s about the chair… In the week prior, I was watching a Facebook page where local people sell stuff, often cheap and occasionally for free. Well there was a 3 seater couch and 2 recliners up for sale. $500 cos it needed to go the next day. Originally bought for $4000. I really wanted it, to replace our uncomfortable stained 3 seater and 2 one seaters, but hey – $500 wasn’t growing on trees in our place. But then the next morning, the guy put ‘free to a good home’, cos he had to empty his place that day as he was moving. Well I was the first person to respond and boy did I write SOLD. My husband picked them up with the guys help that afternoon. And I tell you the whole thing was immaculate and the most comfortable lounge suite I have ever sat on in my life!

I can’t tell you how excited and pleased and thrilled and totally hap-hap-happy I was! Joy spilling all over. I sat in that recliner chair and I did NOT want to get up!

So… fast forward to resting in Jesus. God set me up to want to stay in that chair. So stay I did. And I sat there and thought about praying. But then I thought – no – I have to rest. Praying is work. Good work, but that’s not my job at the moment. And I didn’t want to just rest. I’ve done that a lot in the past 11 months trying to recover from the adrenal crash. I needed to rest in Jesus. How do I do that?

So I laid back in the recliner and with a sigh of relief, rested my inner being, as if I was just leaning right into Jesus. God must have given me grace to do this, because as I took on an inner posture of relief and relaxing into Jesus, I started to laugh, which made me cry. And then I laughed and cried out loud for ages. Friends of mine call this craughing! Love that word! When I stopped laughing, I would redo the relaxing in Jesus posture and it would set me off again.

When I thought to pray, it wasn’t restful, so then I would just relax into Jesus again. He became my place of rest, my place of safety and no striving and absolute freedom. No judgment, no stress, no weights. I can’t help crying writing this. It was absolutely wonderful. And my gut started to feel peaceful and rested. I don’t remember ever feeling my gut being rested. It always felt uptight. I would tell the psychologist that I’ve been seeing, since my crash last year, that I could feel constant uptightness in my gut. It wasn’t relaxing, but just a present reality that I didn’t know how to get rid of.

So then I felt immensely grateful and relieved to have this new feeling of rest deep within my gut. The best way to describe it was like having rivers of living water flowing within me. I laughed, because this is in the Bible (John 7:38). But I’d never experienced it quite like this.

Then on the third day of resting in Jesus, I hadn’t started Summer on the medication yet and I didn’t have carers helping me that afternoon or my husband. So I was bracing myself for having the five kids on my own, after a very tough prior weekend with Summer. I remember the kids all coming in the door after school and milling around. I was expecting them to bubble manically around me, but as soon as they came near, it was like they bounced into my peace and dissolved. They were calm. I watched their energy diffuse without me saying a word. The whole afternoon and evening was so much easier. I was OK. I was peaceful. I can’t tell you how good that was.

The next day I didn’t want to start Summer on the medication cos I wanted to see if this new inner peace impact could continue. My friend cautioned me not to use up all my new God energy on Summer. She wanted me to recover quicker. The next morning I woke up with clarity. I thought God will get the glory in the end. We can tackle this from a multi-faceted way. I started her on the medication, which we were told would have no positive impact until two weeks after starting. Summer has been consistently calmer for five weeks now, starting from two days before we started the medication.

Since then my peace and rest has been up and down, as I spend less time resting in Jesus. I can’t stay in the chair all day, as I have stuff that needs doing. So I am practicing negotiating the balance between resting in Jesus and also living life. I want to grow in this rest. God showed me what is possible with extra grace in those first three days and now I want to grow in this and practice it. I believe the medication is helping Summer continue this calm, while I am still practicing and it is helping her personally wherever she is.

I love how God shows me what is possible and then helps me journey to grow into it!

Tithing is Fun

Autism, Bible, Church, Freedom, God, Joy, Microcephaly, Out of the box, Parenting, Special Needs, , ,

Tithe party me M SI love paying tithes! You can probably guess two of my reasons. But the third might be a bit of a shock…

(For those who don’t know what tithing is – it is setting aside 10% of one’s income for God).

  1. I love God and want to put him first in every area of my life. It would be miserable to hold the area of finances back. I would feel like I wasn’t trusting God or honouring him. He’s so precious it is a joy to put him first. And tithing is a tangible way to express that. One that costs. One that is a sacrifice.
  1. I like giving tithes to the church because it is my local spiritual home. So I help pay the bills. There’s a sense of honour and rightness in this. A sense of being an adult and taking responsibility. I like being this kind of person.
  1. He he he this is the funny one. I also use tithes to have a party! Now I need to establish some context here…

One of my passions is to know God’s ways and walk in them. I read the Bible with eyes that seek to discern his ways and his heart, even if it seems to contradict the traditions I have been taught. Some times I spot things in the Bible that seem controversial because of the cultural or religious parameters I currently experience. I meditate on such Scriptures, trying to discern the difference between God’s thinking and ours, and what needs to change. Even Old Testament passages on laws that no longer apply in New Testament times, give me insight into how God thinks, what he values and what works.

Well I found a passage on tithing that really got me thinking. Have a squiz…

Deuteronomy 14:22-28:

“Be sure to set aside a tenth of all that your fields produce each year. Eat the tithe of your grain, new wine and olive oil, and the firstborn of your herds and flocks in the presence of the Lord your God at the place he will choose as a dwelling for his Name, so that you may learn to revere the Lord your God always.  But if that place is too distant and you have been blessed by the Lord your God and cannot carry your tithe (because the place where the Lord will choose to put his Name is so far away), then exchange your tithe for silver, and take the silver with you and go to the place the Lord your God will choose.  Use the silver to buy whatever you like: cattle, sheep, wine or other fermented drink, or anything you wish. Then you and your household shall eat there in the presence of the Lord your God and rejoice.  And do not neglect the Levites living in your towns, for they have no allotment or inheritance of their own.

At the end of every three years, bring all the tithes of that year’s produce and store it in your towns, so that the Levites (who have no allotment or inheritance of their own) and the foreigners, the fatherless and the widows who live in your towns may come and eat and be satisfied, and so that the Lord your God may bless you in all the work of your hands.”

I have to admit. This one baffled me, as I’ve never heard it taught before. I’d only ever heard of people paying tithes to the church, or some people would give tithes to charities or missionaries. But here in Scripture the people were instructed to eat their tithes, to have a party, a celebration. And no small celebration at that. A whole year’s worth of tithes!!! And they all did this it seems at the same place and at the same time. What a ginormous incredible lavish celebration this would have been! But God didn’t want to leave out the religious leaders (Levites) – they got to celebrate too. And of course every third year, the tithe went to providing for the religious leaders and the needy.

But the primary purpose of the tithe seemed to be for feasting and rejoicing in God’s presence, with the whole community, to teach them to revere the Lord always.

How incredibly exciting. A party of epic proportions. Wow!!!

This was doing my head in. I was thinking. What does this say about God? What was he aiming to achieve in this, that can teach us practical wisdom for now? What benefits are we missing out on by not doing this today? Here is my thought journey…

  1. Shock! Imagine spending the tithes on yourself. Is that allowed? It feels sacrilegious. But it’s in the Bible (God’s idea).
  2. Shock! Imagine spending the tithes on food and drink which won’t last. Here today, gone tomorrow. Is that wise use of funds? Wasteful? But it’s in the Bible (God’s idea).
  3. Shock! But then the church wouldn’t get enough money. They need money to operate. I share in this responsibility. (Yes! God covered this every third year, it’s included. More on my personal response later).
  4. What’s God trying to achieve? What would be the benefits of doing this?
    • God is put first, he’s the focus, he’s revered, he’s obeyed (same as for current tithing).
    • Celebration and rejoicing is extremely important for the health of a community, and even the mental health of individuals.
    • The lavish, generous spread of food and drink speaks of a lavish and generous of God. We participate in his nature. (I think it will be like this in heaven).
    • It shows other nations how blessed God’s people are, that they can celebrate in such happy and lavish fashion.
    • It gives children a really positive view of God as generous, as provider, as someone to be excited about. Parties and food and excitement speak volumes to kids.
    • Being a follower of God is not seen as boring. Followers are not seen as dry or stingy.
    • It sets an example of generosity and freedom and celebration. It builds these things into the culture.
  5. I honestly felt the Holy Spirits’ excitement when exploring this. I felt his joy and his delight in my awakening and his desire for me and my family to experience this.

But… my heart is also to share financial responsibility for my local church home, as expressed in point number one at the top. I value this and consider it very important and necessary.

So I talked with my husband and we decided to continue our current level of tithing to our local church. And any additional income we received, we would put aside a tithe for an annual celebration before God. Again I really felt the Holy Spirit’s pleasure and excitement for this.

So last November, our family of seven had its first tithe celebration. Now this was an event!­­ We have never taken the whole family out to a restaurant before. One, it’s too hard with our middle child who has microcephaly and autism. And two, I hate wasting money, especially as we’re not loaded. My husband and I rarely go to restaurants for this reason, so I couldn’t fathom paying not only for the two of us, but then pay for five kids as well!!! Yes, I know – stingy mentality!

So this was a Jack family first!!! And we had to find a way to make it work for our special needs daughter, or it would be a disaster. With this in mind we chose an international all you can eat buffet restaurant. This was not only perfect for lavish celebration – food everywhere and as much as you want. But it was also conducive for our middle child Summer – she could wander around and be a yo-yo at the table, and it wouldn’t matter. I invited the Oma too, so she could look out for Summer so we could all relax.

I’m telling you, the kids were beside themselves with excitement. When I first told them what we were going to do, they were counting down, they were telling their friends. They couldn’t wait. And I read the Scripture, I told them we were celebrating before God, that we were so grateful for his provision. Wow. Look how much God has blessed us, that we can have this lavish feast!!!

We were all agog at the table when we sat down to lunch. We said grace and then we went for it! I was going to advise the kids to have savoury first, but then I thought – what the heck – let the kids have whatever they want and as much as they want. Well, little five year old Micah went straight for the marshmallows and lollies. He awed at the chocolate fondue fountain. The dessert bar got lots of visits from him and the older two. Summer and Sarah, our two special needs girls were very happy too, but perhaps a little overwhelmed. They ate a bit, but needed helping. Summer went wandering around the Christmas tree that was up already one month before Christmas. She did laps. But nobody minded.

We had such joy! And there was no stress about the bill!! Hahahahahahahahahaha! Oh the joy!

I’m telling you. I was so grateful to God for this experience. I’m crying as I’m writing. I felt such freedom and joy and marvel at how amazing, big, out of this world God is.

The kids have been asking when the next celebration is. They want it twice a year. I’ve put it in the diary as an annual event. They have to wait. Next time I want to make a week of it! Glory to God!!!

Tithe party Kiara Sarah
Beautiful Kiara and Sarah enjoying the celebration!

 

Tithe party Josiah Kristin
Josiah and my hunky husband, Kristin!
Tithe party Summer Oma
The Oma and little Miss Summer!

 

 

Mighty Micah and the cheese bread